Schrodinger
by EspressoEmpress
Summary: Grimmjow's stuck in a body and he's pissed. He's also stuck in Karakura and pissed. And under surveillance. And pissed. And trailing a line of cats. And Ichigo is refusing to fight him. All Grimmjow wants is out of this gigai so he can kill Ichigo and be less pissed. Spoiler alert: neither of those things is going to happen. Post-Aizen; IchiGrimm
1. Fuck Prologues

**I wrote this because I kind of hated Bleach's ending. So instead of whining about it I wrote something fun.**

* * *

 **Fuck Prologues**

He kicked a rock. It had been too long since he'd last killed something. Time was weird in Hueco Mundo - it stretched and doubled back on itself and loop-de-looped into infinity. The only sense of linearity Grimmjow got in this perpetually-dark, nightmarish hellscape came from fighting. He couldn't even remember the people or things unless he thought real hard. All that mattered was the next one. Because he sure as hell wasn't getting out any time soon.

"Oh come on, don't be shy!" he shouted from the steps of Las Noches. "Don't tell me I killed all of you!"

He lounged back, irritation rising.

"I never thought I'd hate this place," Grimmjow muttered.

Wind stirred his hair. The smallest whiff of reiatsu. He bolted upright, ears perked. Like lightning his lips split into a grin and he exploded into motion. He flew low over the white dunes, eyes wide and blurry. Air howling. Blood pumping.

He stopped and sent waves of sand flying. The world came back into focus and he spun around.

"Where are you?"

Sea green eyes examined the landscape.

"There!"

A skinny, tall Adhucha with four legs and a graceful gait. Pure white and red-eyed.

It whinnied and sniffed along the ground.

"No food around here," Grimmjow said. "Kind of sad; you're pretty." He'd learned to appreciate things like that; beauty was scarce in Hueco Mundo, especially after the fall of the Espada. Himself included.

Thinking about defeat left a sour taste in his mouth; a flash of orange, a familiar name. Pretty boy Ichigo. Hatred, humiliation, frustration.

The Hollow's whinny drew his attention again. She'd noticed him. She cocked her head, ears forward, assessing the danger.

"Dumb bitch." Why didn't she run?

Grimmjow held up a hand and built up a cero. Finally the Hollow took a hint and balked. She loped out of the way, legs kicking up a gale. Buffeted by the wind, Grimmjow planted his feet and loosed a reiatsu scream. The shockwave canceled out the Hollow's tornado and sent her flying, head over tail, into a dune.

The grinning cat soared to her side to inspect the damage.

"Don't tell me you're dead," he said, smile fading. He nudged her with his foot. She moaned in response and tried to lift her head. The motion brought up a light breeze and nothing more.

"Wish there were a hundred more of you. Might be more of fight," Grimmjow said. He punched it square in the jaw and felt its bone plating crunch under his knuckles.

"What the fuck?"

He brushed her mask away to reveal a small, pale face. A human-ish face.

"You're _Arrancar_ material? A sleeping little girl? Someone lowered the bar into the fucking basement."

Her eye opened and a sudden gust of wind blew him back a dozen meters.

"I stand corrected!" he said. "Show me what you got, girly!"

The large carcass of the Adhucha disintegrated. The new Arrancar sat up and searched herself. Confused, scared, silent. Grimmjow remembered his own awakening well; it hadn't been quite so peaceful.

Instinct took over and she drew the zanpakuto at her hip.

"What, no foreplay?" he asked.

She shook her head.

"Sarcastic. I like it. What's your name?"

She thought for a moment. "Arashi."

"She speaks! Well, pretty girl Arashi, you're about to be killed by Grimmjow Jaegarjaquez. Any last words?"

Arashi raised white eyebrows. "No."

"No what?"

"You will not kill me."

"We'll see, won't we?"

"I have a sword."

"I noticed."

"You do not."

"Nope."

"Why?"

"Lost it."

"How?"

"It broke," he huffed. "Someone much more powerful than you beat me."

"Now you're weaker?"

Grimmjow liked her spunk. He also hated it. She pulsed her reiatsu, white braid snapping in the wind.

"Wait, you don't want to talk?"

Her wind died. "Does it matter?"

"Well sure it matters! There aren't that many of us left around here. Feels wasteful. I don't know."

"What would we talk about?" Arashi asked.

"I don't know. Shut up. Nevermind," he said.

"What?"

"Forget it. Let's just fight."

"Wait." She held up a hand. Shit, now she was into it. "Why do you want to fight?"

"It's all there is," Grimmjow said. "Obviously."

Arashi fell silent. She looked like a puzzled statue.

"I keep hoping one of you is going to be as strong as Ichigo. Maybe then I could just die in peace," he scowled.

"Ichigo?"

"Yeah. Orange hair. Annoying pack of friends. Still alive."

"Alive?"

"Yeah. Really sucks shit."

"You want to kill him," she said.

"Since I met him. Can't though."

"Why not?"

"Because he isn't here, you dumb bitch."

"Can't get to him?"

"No sword, no power, no garganta," he said, making a flicking motion with his finger.

Arashi copied the action. A black tear split the air and opened in silence. "Like this?"

"You have got to be shitting me. Your first try?"

She peered through the hole.

"Hey, here's an idea," Grimmjow started, "you can make a garganta. I need a garganta. Let's work something out."

A blank stare was her familiar response.

"What do you want? The World of the Living has tons of great shit. Soul reapers, mostly. Some humans."

"For what?"

"Fuck you're stupid. For _fighting_. What else?"

"Oh."

"What? That isn't enough?"

She shrugged.

Finally, finally, Grimmjow's patience ran out. He sonidoed, arm outstretched, and wrapped his fingers around her neck.

"Let me make this simple-"

Arashi's zanpakuto sliced up. He grabbed her wrist with his free hand.

"-Open a garganta to Karakura or I'll blow your head off."

* * *

(btw i know pantera didn't break when ichi beat grimm - it just fits better narratively to say it did ok continue)


	2. Perfect Blue

**Perfect Blue**

"Sir, we have a disturbance in district seven!"

Mayuri Kurotsuchi glanced up from his cup. He tapped it with his nail.

"Size and variation?"

"It's small - maybe a meter across. I think…"

"No thinking! Tell me what it is!"

"It… It's a garganta, sir."

"What? That's impossible. Let me see those readings!" Mayuri shoved the useless seventh seat aside. It took him a moment to assess the symbols.

"Hm. Apparently it's _not_ impossible," he admitted.

"What do we do?" seventh seat asked.

"Make the call to Urahara. As much as I'm loathe to admit it, he'll be of some help. It's his city, after all."

* * *

"Urahara's! Serving up exotic and rare candies for a hundred and seventeen years!"

"Mr. Urahara, this is seventh seat Kuna of squad twelve-"

"Kuna! What's the occasion?"

"A GARGANTA HAS OPENED ONE HUNDRED METERS FROM YOUR POSITION!"

Kisuke held the receiver away from his ear. "Come again? Did you say-"

"YOU'LL FEEL THEM COMING ANY SECOND - SQUADS SIX AND THIRTEEN ARE EN ROUTE! PLEASE BE CAREFUL, SIR!"

Kisuke hung up the phone. A black cat sauntered into the room, tail twitching.

"Arrancar?" the cat asked.

"Not unusual, but it has been a while since Aizen," Kisuke said.

"Do you sense them?"

"I do _now_. Their signal's so weak you wouldn't notice unless you were looking for it." It meant one of two things - they were less powerful scavenger Arrancar who'd found their way to Earth by accident, or they were concealing their reiatsu.

"You're thinking about it, aren't you?" the cat mused. "That experiment of yours."

Kisuke grinned. "You know me too well."

"I'll get the bodies," the cat said.

* * *

"Alright, lady! We're gonna attract some attention - I'm feeling a lot of shit reiatsu around here. We gotta find that orange blotch of rancid taint hair, and fast, so I can kill it," Grimmjow said.

"What?"

"Ichigo. We're going to find Ichigo," he said.

"Oh."

He stretched his arms and grinned up at the clouds. White on blue instead of white on black. It was the little things that made all the difference. Arashi liked the sky too, apparently. She couldn't stop staring at it.

"Strange."

"I know, right? Plus it doesn't stay one boring-ass color - it changes."

Her red eyes went from the sky, to him, and back again. "It matches your hair."

"Yeah, I guess it does. Must be why I like it so much," he said.

"Hm," she said.

"That was a joke."

"What?"

"I was - look, just walk around and look for orange hair. Opposite color of mine," he pointed to his head like an idiot. "When you find him, send up some reiatsu. Know how to do that?"

Arashi drew up some wind.

"Yeah, like that."

"Okay." She paused for a moment, maybe to process the immense complexity of his directive, and started to walk away.

* * *

Two minutes later he picked up her signal. A quick sonido later and he was at her side. She had picked up a stray cat.

"What the fuck?"

"Is this him?"

"No, you dumb bitch, this is a cat."

"Oh," she said. "But he's "orange", right?"

"Yeah he's fucking orange but that's not the point. This is a _cat_. Ichigo is a _soul reaper_."

"Oh." Her mouth did that thing where it formed a perfect "o".

"There is no way in hell that a fucking _cat_ could break my goddamn sword."

"I thought it might be concealing its spiritual pressure."

"IT'S A CAT IT DOESN'T _HAVE_ SPIRITUAL PRESSURE!"

The tabby hissed at him.

"Shut up."

The cat shut up.

"Listen, I need you to find a _soul reaper_ disguised as a _human_ with bright orange hair. Think you can fucking do that before we get fucking killed?"

Arashi nodded.

"Great. Put the cat down and start looking."

The ball of hissing fur scampered back to its trash can and Arashi ambled off down a side street.

"Fuck, I pick the worst fracciones," Grimmjow muttered.

Thirty seconds later a girl screamed loud enough to shatter every window in Karakura. He tracked it back and saw-

"Oh, for fuck's sake," Grimmjow said. Arashi had an orange-haired girl in a half-nelson. The girl had spilled leeks all across the street.

"Did I do something wrong?"

"This is a _girl_! Ichigo is a _guy_! Do you even know the fucking difference?"

Arashi flushed, embarrassed that she didn't know all that much about biology, and said, "She has considerable reiatsu. I thought-"

"First off, let the bitch go, you're going to choke her out." Arashi released the busty broad, who then fell hard on her knees, coughing.

"I'll never tell you where Ichigo is!" she gasped. "You'll have to kill me!"

"Wait, you know Ichigo?" Grimmjow asked.

"Of course I do - he - he saved me from you. Don't - don't you remember?"

Blue eyes squinted at the big-boobed girl with blue barrettes. "Hold on - are you that chick we kidnapped?"

"Orihime Inoue!" she said.

"Okay, no need to get huffy. Just haven't seen you in a while. And I kinda thought you died."

"What?"

"Yeah. You didn't?"

"No I didn't die!"

"Never thought you'd make it out of Hueco Mundo in one piece."

"Well I did!"

"Okay. Want to tell me where your boyfriend is?"

"No! And he isn't my-"

"Okay. Arashi, choke her out a bit."

"Why?" the dumb bitch asked.

"Fine, I'll do it!" Grimmjow reached down.

But Orihime wasn't there. He whipped around. She was on the roof with a purple-haired bitch - no, technically pussy.

"Grimmjow? What in God's name are you doing here?" the pussy asked.

"Aren't you that cat lady?" Grimmjow asked, relaxing his face.

"Answer my question!"

"How about "no". Arashi," he said. "Fight them."

"Why?"

"Because if you don't, I'll kill you!"

She glanced down at her sword. "Okay."

"Fuck. Don't look so sad. Fighting is supposed to be fun," he said. He took a runner's stance and prepped a sonido.

"Where are you going?" the pussy asked.

"None of your damn business."

While he flew away, he thought he heard the pussy shout, "Coward!" He didn't turn around to correct her.

* * *

"Kisuke," Yoruichi said into the receiver, "it's Grimmjow. Grimmjow and another Arrancar."

"What happened?"

"That's the weird part - his friend stayed behind while he _ran_."

"That's great!" he said.

"How is that great?"

"We know exactly where he's going! What about his friend?"

"In custody."

"Is he ready for the procedure?"

"Yes. She seems alarmingly blase about the whole thing."

"She? That's great! One of each," Kisuke said.

Yoruichi rolled her eyes. "Focus, Kisuke. Where's Grimmjow going?"

* * *

The Kurosaki Clinic rested on a quiet street corner in southwestern Karakura. Housed in a small, plain building, the two-storied family business had a pulse of its own, a pulse that skipped a beat when a blue-haired fashion disaster kicked in the clinic's front door and shouted, "Hey, Ichigo, I'm back!"

A tiny, black-haired kid came into view. She was disinterested as fuck.

"Hey buddy, if you're hurt go to the hospital: we're closed."

"Who the hell are you?"

She caught on and looked him in the face. Brown eyes. _Same eyes._ Eyes that went from his mask to his Hollow hole, then back again. He grinned.

"You're his sister, aren't you?"

"I-I-"

"Got enough sense to be scared, I see. Good. And you can see me. Double good. Wanna tell me where your big bro is?"

The sister started to back up real slow. "Fuck you."

"That's not polite, girly - didn't your dad teach you manners?"

"Ichigo, run!" she screamed.

Grimmjow snatched her and shoved her against the wall. He was getting good at chokeholds.

"Is he here? Tell me right now or you die!"

She struggled like a stick insect, wiry arms bashing his arm. Angry brown eyes. _Same eyes._ She was just like Ichigo. She spat in his face. Ballsy. He didn't want to kill her; shame to kill so much moxie.

"Karin!"

That voice. God he missed that fucking voice. To hear it again and be the one to silence it forever.

Grimmjow turned his head.

Such a stupid fucking face. Stupid fucking hair. "Ichigo. Been a while!"

Ichigo swung a broom at him. Grimmjow blocked. "Whoever you are, let my sister go!"

"For fuck's sake, Ichigo, are you blind? It's me. _Grimmjow_."

But the idiot just kept swinging, like he really _was_ blind.

"Use your zanpakuto, Ichigo, this is just embarrassing." Though he had to admit the broom was better than nothing, which was what Grimmjow had.

"Let. Her. Go!" He punctuated each word with a hit. All he succeeded in doing was ruffling Grimmjow's hair.

"Wow. So scary. Fuck, man, just get out your badge. Seriously, I'm getting bored."

Just then, it occurred to him that something was wrong. Ichigo didn't recognize him, which was offensive, yes, but it also seemed he couldn't see Grimmjow _period_ , which was slightly more problematic. Grimmjow's reaction was appropriate for the situation: he dropped Ichigo's sister, grabbed the pest, and slapped him full on the face.

"Wake the fuck up and look at me, bitch!"

"I'm afraid that's no longer possible," a drawling voice said behind him. Grimmjow readied a cero, turned around, and-

Fell flat on his face.

He couldn't move.

Why couldn't he move?

He wiggled. No dice. He was tied the fuck up. Or down. There were wrappings everywhere, was the point. Thank fuck they left his mouth free to swear and shout or he might have done something really horrible.

"What the fuck even are these?"

"Reishi wraps. Yoruichi's specialty. You never stood a chance," smug hat guy said.

"If I had Pantera you would both be dead."

"Well you don't, so I guess we'll never know," the purple-haired pussy said all of a sudden.

"Guys!" Ichigo shouted. "What the hell is going on? Who the hell did you tie up and why are you all in my house?"

"Why the fuck can't Ichigo see me?"

"Boys, don't shout," hat guy said.

"Someone tell me what's going on!" Grimmjow and Ichigo shouted in unison.

"Ichigo, we have all the time in the world to discuss this-"

"Bullshit, tell me who he is!"

"That's the spirit, Ichigo! Get the blood pumping!"

"Grimmjow, shut up!" Yoruichi shouted.

Silence fell. Ichigo finally found Grimmjow's eyes (approximately) and had the decency to look afraid.

"Yoruichi, maybe let me do the talking from now on-"

"He deserves to know, Kisuke."

"Grimmjow?" Ichigo echoed.

"Oh well, cat's out of the bag," Kisuke shrugged.

"Fuck you and that fucking joke," Grimmjow said.

"How the _hell_ is Grimmjow here?" Ichigo asked.

"It's complicated," Kisuke said.

"No it isn't," Grimmjow argued, "I got a bitch to open a garganta for me and now I'm here. How the fuck is that complicated?"

"What's he saying?" Ichigo asked.

"He's mostly yelling."

"And swearing," Karin grumbled. She'd balled herself up against the wall, the farthest away from him but still glaring that Kurosaki glare. Maybe she should have been the soul reaper.

"We'll all have plenty of time to talk at the shop," Kisuke said.

"Fuck that, I'm going to fight Ichigo!"

"Oh yeah? How are you planning to do that?" Yoruichi asked.

"Do what?" Ichigo asked.

"He wants to fight you."

"Some things never change," Ichigo said with this sad smile that twisted up Grimmjow's insides.

"The fuck is that supposed to mean?"

"It means he's not a soul reaper anymore you fuckhead!" Karin shouted. "He lost his powers when he killed Aizen!"

Another long pause stretched in the air like taffy.

"Just to clarify," Kisuke said, "I actually killed Aizen, well not killed, sealed away-"

"What the fuck does that matter?" the ballsy sister said. "Ichigo's the one who beat him down! Ichigo put his powers on the line and he _lost_! He _lost_ and I'm not okay with that. I don't get how you are!"

Kisuke tried once again to intervene. "I kind of feel like we're veering away from the topic at hand-"

"Why," Grimmjow started. "The fuck. Would you do a stupid thing like that?"

"What's he saying now?"

"He wants to know why you gave up your powers. He thinks you're an idiot," Karin said.

"Yeah I bet he does. Listen Grimmjow, I'm sorry, you'll just have to give up on me. I'm not worth fighting anymore."

Everyone shifted around for a few seconds.

"What's he saying?"

"He's not saying anything. He looks kinda sad," Karin said.

"What? You're not serious."

"Ichigo, his entire reason for being here was to fight you," Kisuke said. "Now that that's gone…"

"Grimmjow, I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize, for fuck's sake," Grimmjow muttered. "It's not worth it." The sister relayed his words and Ichigo became very interested in his shoes.

"Well great, glad we got that settled. Kind of brought the mood down but that's salvageable," Kisuke said.

"Honestly fuck all of you, I'm going to bed," Karin said.

"Karin, it's two o'clock in the afternoon," Ichigo said after a moment.

"Suck my dick!" She shouted from down the hall.

"I thought she was on my side for a second…"

"Maybe I should fight her," Grimmjow muttered.

"That wouldn't be a fair fight," Yoruichi said. "She'd kick your ass, Grimmjow."

"Wait, now he wants to fight my sister?"

"Fuck's sake it was a joke, Ichigo. That's what people do when they hit rock bottom. They make jokes 'cuz their life is shit."

"You think _this_ is rock bottom?" Kisuke asked.

"I didn't even know Aizen was dead. That's how out of the loop I've been, stuck in Hueco Mundo for the past however long. So whatever. No point. Might as well just kill me."

"What's he saying?"

"Doesn't matter." Grimmjow shook his head.

"What does matter is that this, right here, is not rock bottom for Grimmjow," Kisuke said.

"No?"

"Oh no. You know how I know that?" Kisuke grinned. "Because you're about to hit it right now."


	3. Welcome to the Jungle

**Welcome to the Jungle**

When Grimmjow woke up he was woozy and nauseous as shit. Every square centimeter of his skin burned. His core felt frozen solid. He shivered. There weren't enough buckets in the world to hold all the vomit he heaved up. Or would have heaved up, if his body had any fluids to expel.

He rolled over. Rubbed his forehead. Realized - hey - he was still tied the fuck up. And he was alone.

He felt different; mismatched; skin sparking and numbing in patches all over. Another dry heave.

"Fuck me," he hissed into the ground. No, it was floor. He was on a wood floor, judging by the friction and sound his cheek made. Cheek? His right cheek? Why was his right cheek rubbing on the floor? Where was his mask? Grimmjow rolled on his stomach and pushed up with his knees.

"The fuck?" Too tired to say anything else.

Sound of an opening door.

"Ah, our speedy little Arrancar is awake!" Kisuke's voice said.

"Rise and shine, blue balls," a second, shriller voice joined. Little boy, he thought.

"What…" he tried. "What did you do to me?"

"How do you feel? Tired? Sick? Homicidal?"

"Moreso now that you're here."

"Do you feel any different from usual?"

Actually, yes. He felt like he was on the verge of death. "What did you do?"

"Oh the process is far too complicated to explain. You put up quite the struggle, so we had to tweak it. Just a tad. Involved a few binding kido and a large hammer. That's what's causing your nausea. Have a headache?"

"Stop talking."

"That's a "yes". Ururu, jot that down," he said to a tiny girl at his side. She scribbled on a clipboard. The red-headed boy on Kisuke's other side brandished a bat.

"What are you doing?"

"You're a brand new man, Grimmjow! I have to take notes or I can't replicate the experiment. Now are you feeling any joint pain?"

"I'm going to kill you!" Grimmjow rushed him. Didn't have a plan, didn't have a hand free; maybe he would've headbutted the guy, but his mind was so rage-blank there wasn't any room for lucid fighting sense.

Face full of pain.

Hitting the floor hard on his bare cheek.

Red behind his eyes.

Sight fading at the edges.

The kid. The kid had hit him. With a bat.

"I wouldn't advise it, punk!" the angry red-head said. "Now sit down and shut up!"

"I hate you," Grimmjow said into the floor.

"Good shot, Jinta. Ururu, check-off joint pain," Kisuke said.

"What did you do to me?" Grimmjow asked. It came out as more of a whimper.

"Didn't we say? You're a human now!" Kisuke said. "Isn't it weird how no one's ever tried stuffing an Arrancar into an empty body before? Arrancar are advanced Hollows, which are just souls gone bad. So at your most basic level, you guys belong in bodies like the rest of us!"

 _WhatwhatwhatwhatwhatwhatwhatTHEFUCK?!_

"For a while it was just a harebrained theory of mine. I'm glad you made it to the human world so I could try it out!"

 _No. Nonononononono._

"So thank you, Grimmjow. This is all possible because of you!"

 _This is not happening. This is not fucking happening._

"Your wardens are just outside - you've got quite a few volunteers. They're excited to meet you."

He went to the door and slid it open.

"Captain Byakuya Kuchiki and Lieutenant Renji Abarai of squad six, Rukia Kuchiki of squad thirteen, and two of my personal friends: Chad Yasutora and Uryuu Ishida."

Grimmjow didn't bother looking.

"I don't give a shit about your friends."

"Now, your living arrangement is a bit improvised. We'll have to keep you in a warehouse nearby, just in case that seal on you breaks. I don't want to have to repaint the basement again."

"So it's a seal, huh?" Grimmjow said, grin spreading across his face. "All I've gotta do is break it and you're all _dead_."

"Oh no. The seal is permanent. It's binding you to that gigai, yes, but it's also giving you stability. It's complicated but the gist is: you break it, you'll probably explode. Not that I would mind that. We'd get some great data," Kisuke said. "But I don't think you'd like that very much, would you, Grimmjow?"

"I'm going to kill you. Every single one of you."

"Now why would you want to do that? We're giving you what you want!"

"What kind of twisted shit-"

"The way I see it," Urahara interrupted, "you've been brought down to normal. No powers to speak of. Well, maybe a bit; we're not sure yet."

"What-"

"The point is, for all intents and purposes, you're human now. Remind you of anyone?"

"What the fuck are you-"

"You're just like Ichigo! You guys can fight on equal footing again!"

"Kisuke," a shorty from the line-up said. "Every time Ichigo and Grimmjow have fought they almost killed each other. Maybe we shouldn't be putting ideas in his head-"

"Hey, shut up, kid, the grown-ups are talking," Grimmjow said.

"Excuse me, did you just disrespect my sister?" the pretty black-haired guy asked. He had weird shit on his head, like porcelain cornrows.

"I can defend myself, brother," the girl replied. "Grimmjow, do you recognize me?"

"Not really."

"Maybe this will jog your memory." She drew her sword. "Dance: Sode no Shirayuki!" The blade turned ice white and a wave of cold rushed over him.

She walked forward and put the tip under his chin. Everyone else stood there and let her, trusting that she wouldn't do anything rash. Or fearing that she'd turn on them if they tried to stop her.

Damn. Every girl Grimmjow met was either a twelve-year-old or a bitch. And this one was both.

"All of us are here because you've hurt us or someone close to us. I swear, so long as it is within my power to stop you, you shall never harm another living thing on this or any other plane of existence for the rest of time. By any means necessary. Is that clear?"

He remembered her now.

"Is that clear?" she repeated.

He nodded.

"Good."

She'd come a long way since he'd put a hand through her stomach.

Actually no. She'd stayed the same and Grimmjow had gone backwards. He chewed on that fact while she sheathed her sword.

"You guys will get along great! And Grimmjow, think about what I said," Kisuke said and booted him out the door.

* * *

"Okay, we're gonna set some ground rules," the spiky-haired tattoo guy said as he cut Grimmjow's ties. "You respect us, I won't put my foot up your ass."

"Get bent."

Renji kicked him into the concrete.

"Cause, effect. Get it?"

Grimmjow's heavy breathing echoed in the empty warehouse. He spat blood on the red guy's robe.

"Fuck's sake!"

Grimmjow hissed at him.

"Renji," the brown guy said, "anyone in Grimmjow's position would mouth off. Maybe we should go easy on him." Brown guy was way too mellow for Grimmjow's taste but he made an excellent point.

"I have to agree," four-eyes added. "Urahara did say he's human now. He's far more delicate than he used to be."

"Bullshit!" Grimmjow said.

"Silence, fool!" the twelve-year-old bitch shouted.

"Make me!"

"That doesn't make sense," four-eyes said.

" _You_ don't make sense, glass-face," Grimmjow said.

"I will take the first shift," the quiet guy with hair decor said.

"Brother, are you sure?"

"I am. The rest of you return to Kisuke Urahara."

"You're going to stay here by yourself? That seems like a bad idea," brown guy said.

"On the contrary. This is the most efficient use of our resources. If this Arrancar came to Karakura with minimal effort then some could follow him. I will stay, the rest of you will patrol the city," the brother said.

"Hold on a second! Who put you in charge?" four-eyes protested.

"Do you disagree with my deduction?"

"Well, no-"

"Ishida, let's go," the little sister said.

"I'm a Quincy. I don't abide by _your_ chain of command."

"Uryuu, if you have a better plan I'm sure the Captain would like to hear it," brown guy said.

Four-eyes Uryuu got stumped by that one. He shut his trap and everyone except the fancy-pants Captain left. Grimmjow liked them. They were dumb enough to leave this guy alone with him.

The Captain, meanwhile, stood there and watched him.

"What are you doing?"

"Is that a trick question?"

"You're just going to stand there? You didn't bring a book or something?"

He said nothing.

"Well you're boring."

Grimmjow leaned back against the wall. "So what are you here for? You hate me? Want me dead?"

"No. I do not care about you," Captain Fancy said.

"Aah I get it. You're worried about your baby sister! Think I'm going to move her bowels again?"

Fancy didn't answer, so Grimmjow knew he hit the nail on the head.

"That's too bad. Turns out you're just as sentimental as the rest of them."

"I'm surprised you know the meaning of the word," Fancy said.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Forgive me, I would have thought words greater than three syllables were beyond you. It appears I was mistaken."

"Tch," Grimmjow said. "So what's his long game?"

"To whom do you refer?"

"Dork-hat mcFuckity pants. If I'm his experiment or whatever, what does he want me to do? Sit around with my thumb up my ass until I croak?"

"I imagine he will perform a series of increasingly difficult and punishing procedures to test the limits of your mental and physical fortitude."

"Hah. Good luck getting me to do those."

"I also imagine he is securing a means of ensuring your compliance. A chain for the rabid dog, if you will," Fancy said.

 _First off, it's cat, and I'm not rabid, just opinionated._

"You got quite the imagination, Kuchiki."

"I do not."

"I bet you imagine a lot of things. In the dark of the night, when the shadows creep over your bed and you can't keep the fear away. You imagine your tough little sister, watch as her strength dies - watch me take it from her-"

Cold tip.

Metal under his chin.

Sword at his throat - Kuchiki's sword.

Grimmjow had blinked. Bad idea around this guy.

Kuchiki glared down at him.

"You. Will not speak of her."

"Won't I?" Grimmjow smiled. "I'm Kisuke's precious little lab rat."

"He has a spare."

 _Fuck. I forgot about that dumb bitch Arashi…_

"As far as I am concerned, you are disposable. And I am prepared for the consequences that killing you entail. Are you?"

Grimmjow swallowed. Truth be told, he wasn't.


End file.
